Friday, February 08, 2013

Back in the Saddle

I owe any readers I still have here an apology. I  have been gone a long time I know. I was sick for almost a year with an illness that put me on full life support and almost took my life. However, I beat it and looked forward to living life again after almost a year of constant medical care and away from my home.
I got home feeling motivated and ready to succeed. Then figuratively speaking, I fell flat on my face and stayed there mired in my own confusion and hopelessness. One thing I did wrong is allow negative people to come back into my life. Then even others who seemed to need but never give back. I fell into patterns of making sure everyone else was safe and secure first be it money, time or emotionally. I couldn’t get up because I had nothing left for myself to pick myself up.

Then it all changed. Maybe it was the going hungry while I saw those I helped had plenty yet never offered. Or maybe it was loving someone with all that I had when they only showed me love when they needed me around and ignored me the rest of the time. Maybe it was just my finally getting angry that I had so many footprints on my back from people that used me to step up but kept going.

Whatever it was I pulled myself back up to my knees, which is still where I am in many ways. The difference is though that by that simple act of forcing myself to my knees, I was able to pull myself respect back up with me and my dreams. I looked at them and decided hey, I still deserve this, and I need to take care of me and love myself the way I have done for all these others.

And you know what? So do you. It does not matter where you are in your life right now. Just take a step. Just one. I know you can. You deserve to have a life you want. Yes, you do. Don’t argue. You were not born to this world to be a doormat. Don’t listen to negative people. Better yet take a hard look at their lives. Chances are they are being negative about yours, so they don’t have to deal with their own. I believe in you. So no matter what you have one person here that sincerely believes you have strength and power to rise. My email is always open as a virtual hand to help you up. I also intend to get this blog moving again. Don’t give up. You matter.